Whatever it is

Because I'm sick, I'm dusting off my blog.  While Hazel plays in the backyard, I'm sitting with the laptop, considering my 1/3 life crisis or whatever it is.  Lou Reed was right about today.  It's perfect.  So beautiful in fact, that any stress I am feeling right now seems unreasonable.

Things are good at home.
Football season is a blessing.  I get three months of the year to reflect on and appreciate what a great husband I have and when I start to forget it or take him for granted, August comes around again and I, like football widows everywhere, get ready to hold down the fort until the holidays.  As hard as this time of year is, I know for sure that it keeps my marriage strong.

Work is fine.
Moving back from AVID to 6th grade has been a unique challenge.  I was shut off in a corner of the building last year, lumped in with the other elective teachers, so nicely forgotten about by administration and anyone else who cares about teacher accountability and/or test scores.  I had no department meetings, no one to plan with and no assessments to prepare for.  I taught my students about how fun college can be.  I taught them how to shake hands properly and resolve conflict.  I helped them get into magnet schools by helping write essays and prepare for interviews.  We asked high level questions and had debates about things that mattered to them.  I did what I wanted and no one ever questioned my methods or told me I needed to fill out a focused instructional planning form.  All of my students passed their writing test in April.  No one cared or mentioned it, and I was HAPPY.

Teaching reading is...different.  Pressure and teacher accountability are high.  I plan with a team and we are expected to be doing the same thing on any given day.  I got used to being an island, and now I'm landlocked in tornado alley.  I am back to being surrounded by coworkers, while my social interactions last year were minimal.  I thought I was lonely before, but at this point I'd like to go back to my cave.  People are too complicated.  Teachers are TOO complicated.  Not to be misunderstood, I'm happy this year.

Soooo, the stress?  I don't know why I'm anxious, or maybe I do, but it doesn't matter so much why.  What I know for sure is that I just need to KIT.  My life is good, and being thirty shouldn't give me any reason to want things to be any different.

Now, because I'm sick, I'm going to take a nap